Gently Let Go – My Feelings after I Started Respectfully Listening to the Dharma Expounded by H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III
Gently Let Go – My Feelings after I Started Respectfully Listening to the Dharma Expounded by
H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III
I wanted to write something about my feelings after I started to listen to the dharma discourse, but I hesitated as I did not know where to start and also was afraid of any karma caused by the unintentionally-made mistakes in what I write. After a second thought, I told myself not to put on too much unnecessary pressure on myself – I could just write what is from my heart, directly from my heart, without worrying too much. Hence, I started this article which I called “Gently Let Go”.
Thinking back the first few years of my life in Malaysia, I was on my own in a foreign country and things were not too kind to me. I could not even see the future and I kept pressuring myself. I lost the ability to communicate with people that were close to me. I was overwhelmed by the feeling that I was not earning good money to the extent that I was prepared to go for underground fighting! All my eyes could see was what I could gain and how I could gain more money (and power perhaps). What I thought and what I did was for my own benefits. I did not care about sincerity. I gave empty promises – all for the single purpose of gaining more power and benefits! I had a lot of suspicions about what people said, whether what they said had any hidden meaning! Every time I had a failure or made a loss, I would never think that it could be my own fault, instead, I was convinced that someone must have sabotaged me, especially my opponents! Day in day out, I lived in a life full of anxiety and misery. I was exhausted and lost! One day, the feeling was so unbearable, I went to a Catholic church to make a confession! At this juncture of helplessness or perhaps I should say the juncture of life-turning, sister Ching Ching led me to the path of rescue. I was given the opportunity to respectfully listen to the dharma discourse expounded by H.H. Dorje Chang III and I then realized I had wasted all my life! I thought my frivolous behaviour was due to my young age, indeed it was due to not knowing the true meaning of letting go, not understanding the law of cause and effect. That was the reason why I always resorted to finding excuses to cover up my own nonsense.
After a few times of listening to the dharma, the words “let go” was deeply embedded in my mind and I was so touched by the words which mean freeing myself from all attachments. Let go of greed, hatred, stupidity, fury, sadness, desire, all the things that are bothering me. Let go of all these!
Really, at the moment I choose to let go, I felt a sense of relief. Although my problems were still there, I did not feel that they could not be solved anymore. I have found a new exit. Now, I have learned to let go the worries and anxiety. I have learned to live life easily and to let go gently when facing problems. As a result, now I have a harmonious family. I have made more friends and more gladly. I seem to have made steady progress in my career. I am no longer in limbo, without future!
For all these, I am deeply grateful to H.H. Dorje Chang III, to sister Ching Ching for bringing back the dharma CDs to Malaysia so that I have the opportunity to respectfully listen to the ultimate high dharma and start cultivating for good effect!
a humble practitioner: Hong-Liang Wang
July 9, 2017